Hello there. I almost forgot about this personal space of mine.
In case you don't already know, I'm done with my Masters (MSLP) and have been back in Singapore since 15th January. And also 6 weeks (since 20th April) into my current job as a Speech Therapist / Pathologist, whichever term you prefer. I'm working at Lee Kong Chian Gardens School MINDS, working with children aged 7 - 18yo with intellectual disability and/or autism. I guess that's probably the most important update for now.
Honestly, time really flies. It's 2021 already! Just a couple of entry before I was writing about feeling very stressed with my Masters. Then look where I am now, 6 weeks into my job already. The only thing that hasn't change is how I'm still feeling overwhelmed. The learning curve is really steep and I've honestly lost count of the instances of self-doubt and questioning if I know what I'm even doing. But I'm still doing alright though. Life is tough, but I know I'm tougher. So all's good for now.
Another thing that probably hasn't change much is the COVID-19 pandemic. One year ago I thought things would be back to normalcy by now. But I guess life is unpredictable in that way. This time though, I feel a whole lot better. Partly cause I've gotten used to this pandemic already. And definitely also cause I'm back in Singapore with my family and friends now.
I have this habit of typing out an entry and not posting it so here is an entry of when COVID-19 first happened, written on 22nd March 2020:
I feel overwhelmed.
And I have a lot of thoughts floating in my head at this moment that I think I need to write it down to keep my sanity.
I know I always portray myself to others as a pretty positive vibes person. Because I really don't like to spread negative energy. It's simply unnecessary and most of the time people find it difficult to deal with negativity. Let's face it. It's easier for negativity to rub off someone than positivity. But honestly, I do overthink stuff and I do worry unnecessarily from time to time too. And I like writing down how I feel as a coping mechanism. So this entry is me, trying to deal with my inner worries and negativity.
COVID-19 has been stressing me up since before I flew back to Sydney. Initially there were quite a number of cases in Singapore and I was afraid of not being able to enter Aussie / being asked self-quarantine for 14 days and affecting my placements. Which is why I came back extra early and stay at home as much as possible for 14 days prior to school commencing.
School and placements both started off well in end Feb, but all these were a facade of a looming fate. What I would call the calm before the storm, that all came crashing in early March. Honestly I should have anticipated it. Considering how COVID-19 knows no borders and how complacent it was at the airport when I came back; can you believe there was no temperature screening, the most basic thing to even implement at the airport????
So NCSS (my scholarship organisation) has been trying to track all of us and has asked us to fill in this status update form every day. And in this form there are questions like:
"Are you returning to Singapore?" (Y/N)
followed by a
"If you decide to remain in the country, please provide us the reasons for your stay."
I know they mean well and have our best interest at heart. But honestly for someone who actually wants to return home, answering these questions is like forcing me to make a conscientious decision EVERY. SINGLE. DAY on whether I want to return home or stay here.
Also the internet at my place is breaking down.
I am too.
I guess you can just see how anxious I felt when writing it. The reason why this entry didn't get to see daylight then was cause I'm away in another country and I really don't want my family and friends to worry about me. But I've decided to publish it now cause my feelings then were very valid and I want to remember them as it is. Albeit they weren't exactly the best moments. But hey, life isn't always a bed of roses right?
Recently I catch myself scrolling through my past Instagram posts a lot. I have always known that I'm a sentimental individual who likes reminiscing about the good old times. And somehow I always remember random small snippets of memories that honestly aren't very significant. I guess this is me, being quite reluctant to accept adulting as it is. Just like how I never liked movies/shows with sad endings. Why must things change? But deep down I know change is the only constant. So I guess sometimes we just have to accept things that we don't like. And perhaps that is adulting.
That's about all for now. Not much of an entry, and not sure when I'll be back again too.
0 comments
Hello there. I almost forgot about this personal space of mine.
In case you don't already know, I'm done with my Masters (MSLP) and have been back in Singapore since 15th January. And also 6 weeks (since 20th April) into my current job as a Speech Therapist / Pathologist, whichever term you prefer. I'm working at Lee Kong Chian Gardens School MINDS, working with children aged 7 - 18yo with intellectual disability and/or autism. I guess that's probably the most important update for now.
Honestly, time really flies. It's 2021 already! Just a couple of entry before I was writing about feeling very stressed with my Masters. Then look where I am now, 6 weeks into my job already. The only thing that hasn't change is how I'm still feeling overwhelmed. The learning curve is really steep and I've honestly lost count of the instances of self-doubt and questioning if I know what I'm even doing. But I'm still doing alright though. Life is tough, but I know I'm tougher. So all's good for now.
Another thing that probably hasn't change much is the COVID-19 pandemic. One year ago I thought things would be back to normalcy by now. But I guess life is unpredictable in that way. This time though, I feel a whole lot better. Partly cause I've gotten used to this pandemic already. And definitely also cause I'm back in Singapore with my family and friends now.
I have this habit of typing out an entry and not posting it so here is an entry of when COVID-19 first happened, written on 22nd March 2020:
I feel overwhelmed.
And I have a lot of thoughts floating in my head at this moment that I think I need to write it down to keep my sanity.
I know I always portray myself to others as a pretty positive vibes person. Because I really don't like to spread negative energy. It's simply unnecessary and most of the time people find it difficult to deal with negativity. Let's face it. It's easier for negativity to rub off someone than positivity. But honestly, I do overthink stuff and I do worry unnecessarily from time to time too. And I like writing down how I feel as a coping mechanism. So this entry is me, trying to deal with my inner worries and negativity.
COVID-19 has been stressing me up since before I flew back to Sydney. Initially there were quite a number of cases in Singapore and I was afraid of not being able to enter Aussie / being asked self-quarantine for 14 days and affecting my placements. Which is why I came back extra early and stay at home as much as possible for 14 days prior to school commencing.
School and placements both started off well in end Feb, but all these were a facade of a looming fate. What I would call the calm before the storm, that all came crashing in early March. Honestly I should have anticipated it. Considering how COVID-19 knows no borders and how complacent it was at the airport when I came back; can you believe there was no temperature screening, the most basic thing to even implement at the airport????
So NCSS (my scholarship organisation) has been trying to track all of us and has asked us to fill in this status update form every day. And in this form there are questions like:
"Are you returning to Singapore?" (Y/N)
followed by a
"If you decide to remain in the country, please provide us the reasons for your stay."
I know they mean well and have our best interest at heart. But honestly for someone who actually wants to return home, answering these questions is like forcing me to make a conscientious decision EVERY. SINGLE. DAY on whether I want to return home or stay here.
Also the internet at my place is breaking down.
I am too.
I guess you can just see how anxious I felt when writing it. The reason why this entry didn't get to see daylight then was cause I'm away in another country and I really don't want my family and friends to worry about me. But I've decided to publish it now cause my feelings then were very valid and I want to remember them as it is. Albeit they weren't exactly the best moments. But hey, life isn't always a bed of roses right?
Recently I catch myself scrolling through my past Instagram posts a lot. I have always known that I'm a sentimental individual who likes reminiscing about the good old times. And somehow I always remember random small snippets of memories that honestly aren't very significant. I guess this is me, being quite reluctant to accept adulting as it is. Just like how I never liked movies/shows with sad endings. Why must things change? But deep down I know change is the only constant. So I guess sometimes we just have to accept things that we don't like. And perhaps that is adulting.
That's about all for now. Not much of an entry, and not sure when I'll be back again too.
0 comments
